Category: Writers Block
Wolfsburg, Fairyland (FP):
A boy of seventeen was arrested today for racism and libelagainst lupine species after he uttered the cry "wolf, wolf, there's a wolf trying to eat the
sheep!" in front of the town council. Fang Droolman, of the World Organisation for Lupine Freedom condemned the offence saying "this act was barbarous
and unacceptable in today's society. It represents a vicious slander against wolf kind and cannot be tolerated." As well as the criminal action, the WOLF
is also expected to ask its lawyers - Sueit, Robbit and Gettrich - to file a civil suit in order to help "compensate this poor canine for the emotional
harm wrought."
The wolf, who has now been referred to a clinic for trauma counselling is understood to be considering a move to a safe location where "shepherds, ranch
hands and others menaces" (WOLF) will not be able to disturb him. He is also believed to have been involved in a previous case where he was sued for criminal
damages after being found in a henhouse with feathers and blood around his mouth. His previous defence counsel refused to comment on this current case
but court recordings do reveal that on that occasion his defence that he "was constructing a feather boa" was accepted by the court.
WOLF is expected to use this case as a springboard to reverse the laws against sheep killing and breaking into henhouses that are still active in some states.
It's spokesman, Mr Droolman stated in a press release that "these activities are perfectly natural to lupine species and as such should not be outlawed.
Instead, legalising such acts would not only help wolves of all shapes and sizes but would actually make sheep and chickens safer as there would be clear
legal guidelines as to when and how they may be eaten. This would stop the current practice where cows, seeking an extra income, sell unsuspecting sheep
and chickens to outlaw 'wolf packs.'"
Peck McCorn, head of the Chicken Defence League and Chairman of the Farm Animals Royal Trust, cautiously welcomed the move saying: "we do understand that
in this particular case, the defendant was only looking out for his sheep and had the best of intentions in mind. However, in the long run, we feel that
the only way to protect chickens and sheep is to find a way to protect them by using similar laws to those already in force in the Netherlands, California
and Nebraska. To wit, that entering henhouses, devouring sheep and knocking over rubbish recepticles should be legal between the hours of 9pm and 4am in
registered zones with an established police presence."
The lawyers representing the boy accused of racism and libel have refused to issue an official comment except to say that they are already preparing a brief
for the European Court of Human Rights so they may get rich on over-hyped media coverage too.
Fairyland Press:
The News You Wish You Heard
Very good satire.
I want to make this a sort of series ol.
Very good. Kind of like douglas adams in a way.
Bob
you read douglas adams?
wooooo!
Lol Loui, it's great. It is very Adams-esque, and the name Peck McCorn made me chuckle. Hope you post the rest if you write more.